Why do I love her and not him, and him, and another him? Well, I can’t bring myself to love them; I can’t bring myself to even try. I had experiences with other hims and what I have with her now is simply different. Way different.
Why do I love her? Loving her has no reasons. I just simply do. And that’s just one difference between loving her and loving them hims: loving them has to have reasons because otherwise there’s no point in loving them at all.
I love her not because she loves me back. There are others who love me, others who would be willing to love me, others who would care for me. But I don’t need them—it’s her I need. Her warmth, understanding, acceptance, affection, beauty, temperament, mood swings, and flaws—I need all that. I need her.
It is only when I’m with her that I am most secure and comfortable. I can be anyone and anything when I’m with her. She accepts the whole of me and she understands my shortcomings. Whether I succeed or fail, I know she’ll be beside me.
She lets me grow as a person. I tend to let my world revolve around her and only her sometimes, as if there’s no one else in this world but the two of us. She knows that this isn’t healthy and that we have to have space for personal growth and time for ourselves. A stable relationship calls for stable individuals; and for our relationship to blossom and last for a long time, we both have to continue to develop and to mature together and individually.
Most importantly, while we are lovers, we are also best friends. After a tiring day, it would be nice to just talk to her—telling anecdotes, exchanging views, catching up on the going ons of each other’s lives. When all is said and done, she is not only my best friend, she is also my shock-absorber, my angel, my teddybear, my adviser, my inspiration, my motivation—my everything.
So understand that there are no reasons why I love her. I just do.
Written by yea, edited by amplifier and first appeared on www.peyups.com on 1st August 2005.