Damsels in distress. The eternal protagonists in fairy tales.
The evil queen. The old hag. The witch. Evil. Because they make the pretty princesses miserable. Or did they?
Flashback to your fairy tales.
Who were these women before they met the witches?
Desired by all.
Loved by all.
Meeting with princes and knights left and right. Day and night.
And yet so righteously virginal.
And then what?
They were useless.
And who are the witches?
Simple people living outside the princesses’ worlds.
People who can be themselves.
Working, tax-paying citizens. Paying the gold from their wages to support the princesses’ diamond peel sessions.
But if they commit a mistake, let’s say, forget the tittle on the i. They get sent to the dungeons.
They won’t “attack” unless they were provoked.
Cinderella’s stepmother wouldn’t have been wicked if Cinderella wasn’t the spineless little bitch that she is.
The Queen would not have Snow White killed if she just grew up and stopped being selfish and attention-hungry (“King Daddy neglects me because of the new wife… boohoo.” And princess, may I ask were you of any use to the kingdom’s welfare? Today’s politicians’ kids fare better. Even with their fake foundations and basketball tournaments.)
Rumpelstiltskin wouldn’t have pestered the miller’s daughter had she kept her promise.
The witch wouldn’t have threatened to eat Hansel and Gretel if they didn’t eat her house in the first place.
Well, the list goes on.
These princesses should actually thank the hags. Without them, their heroes wouldn’t have come to rescue them. They wouldn’t be in the limelight.
And the stupid princes, galloping on their horses all fell for it. Fell for the innocent “Oh rescue me! I am so helpless!” act.
People just adoooooore these princesses.
You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel strong. You save people by letting them save you. All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog. People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden. People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor. Charity isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind. – Victor Mancini (from Choke – Palahniuk).
It worked for Victor, it works for the princesses as well. By the way, Victor is a sex addict. Maybe the innocent beauties too.
Screw Snow White. Screw Cinderella. And these are the stories we grew up with. No wonder.
Written by AAA111 and first appeared on www.peyups.com.